Yesterday's Shocker Is Today's Must
Read
By JANET MASLIN Published: September 10, 2004
Origami: it used to be such an innocent craft, such a sweet way
of creating flowers and boats and critters. Well, don't look now,
but there's a new wrinkle to the old Japanese art of folding paper.
Rizzoli will soon publish "Very Naughty Origami," with
step-by-step instructions on how to shock your friends and neighbors
with lascivious handiwork. The book's pièce de résistance
is an illustration of little paper people having group sex.

Can there be any doubt that the middle of the road isn't where
it used to be? The formerly outré, freaky and unthinkable
now constitute business as usual in popular culture. And these have
become outright selling points for books that eagerly capitalize
on their kinks. Although the celebrity autobiography is a genre
that might be deemed obscene by definition, it takes on a whole
new meaning with Jenna Jameson perched high on the best-seller list.
Ms. Jameson, the self-promoting porn star ("How to Make Love
Like a Porn Star," written with Neil Strauss, a former music
writer for The New York Times), is no stranger to tricky positions.
After all, she does some of her best work gyrating against a stripper's
pole. "How about the time," she is asked, "when you
were on top of the pole and you turned upside down, but you had
too much oil on your legs, so you slipped off and fell right on
your head?" This appears in one of the various interviews,
dialogues, monologues, diary entries and comics patched together
to form this G-stringed Horatio Alger story.
When it comes to displaying herself, Ms. Jameson had previously
tried everything except her current maneuver: being planted right
in the middle of the bookstore. Amazingly, a memoir that once would
have won itself a plain brown wrapper can now be found beside books
about Henry James.
It's a sign of the times that Ms. Jameson's on-the-job reminiscences
don't stand out from the crowd. It's another sign of the times that
some of the book's photographs of the author and her pals are confusingly
captioned. It's not always clear which long-haired blonde with heavy
makeup and breast implants is Ms. Jameson, unless the reader happens
to be looking at the tattoo on her rear.
It's another sign of the times that Christopher Buckley has written
"Florence of Arabia," a novel dotted with Lawrence of
Arabia references and billed as "his first and probably last
Middle East comedy." Much of what Mr. Buckley satirizes was
not deemed funny until — well, until Mr. Buckley decided to
make it funny. Take the idea of women being stoned to death in Middle
Eastern countries with religious fundamentalist regimes: no laughs
linked to that. But in this book, Mr. Buckley actually gets comic
mileage out of discussing the best rocks to use for this purpose:
" `The smallest. Like this. These are the best. Like the ones
we throw at Satan in Mecca during the hajj.'
" `Those are small,' replies one resident of Wasabia, where
the wife of King Tallulah has been sentenced to death for advocating
women's rights. `Wouldn't it take a very long time to kill a woman
with stones that small?'
" `Yes,' replies Grand Mufti Ifkir." (Mr. Buckley has
great fun scrambling names.) " `That is the point. It's a mercy.
It gives her time to repent of her crime.' "
"Florence of Arabia" concerns a beautiful blonde from
the State Department who is looking for a way to help Arab women.
("I'm just trying to think outside the box," says Florence.
"Which box? Pandora's?" asks another State Department
functionary.) It is made as defiant as it is witty by the example
of Fern Holland, the beautiful 33-year-old "real-life Florence
of Arabia," in Mr. Buckley's words, a Washington lawyer who
went to Iraq as an advocate for women's rights and was murdered
there six months ago. Beyond raising the question of just how quickly
Mr. Buckley writes, this improbably lighthearted book creates as
much mischief as it possibly can.
So it cites the discovery in the Middle East of "a first-century
scroll underneath the Old City that purported to be a certificate
of marriage between a Nazarene carpenter named Yeshua and a former
prostitute named Mariah, from the town of Magdala." This artifact
"caused a great sensation for months, until carbon dating and
an investigation traced the document to the publicity department
of a New York City publishing house."
For those who need any more evidence that "The Da Vinci Code"
still casts a long shadow, consider Steve Berry's second thriller.
Now that Dan Brown's colossal hit has made the Holy Grail a hard
act to follow, where can an author unearth secret history? And how
can the secret be fused with globe-trotting action? Mr. Berry, a
trial lawyer, decides that the time is ripe for reinstating Russian
royalty. Once it would have been outlandish; now it's perfectly
reasonable to cook up a book about reinstating the czar.
"The Romanov Prophecy" begins, of course, with a prophecy
about the Romanovs. The year is 1916, the listener is Empress Alexandra
and the speaker is Rasputin, whose "blue silk blouse and velvet
trousers reeked of alcohol, which tempered his usual stench, one
her court ladies had said reminded them of a goat." As that
may indicate, Mr. Berry does not trade in delicate nuances. No,
he sends a lawyer named Miles Lord racing around the planet, chased
by gunmen and checking out one of the latter-day Romanovs who has
a claim to the Russian throne.
Very soon, in a book full of breathless contrivances, Miles has
been thrown into the company of a beautiful young woman, "a
Russian circus performer sympathetic to his struggle." Meanwhile,
flashbacks offer an account of what befell Czar Nicholas II and
his family in 1918. ("Why was his cousin the kaiser doing this
to him? Did he hate him that much?" ) And Mr. Berry has a theory
about what became of all the lost Romanovs, including the two children
left unaccounted for, Alexie and Anastasia.
The truth remains shrouded in mystery. But we know this much: descendants
of the czar turn up in Nancy Lieberman's present-day novel, "Admissions."
What are the Romanovs doing nowadays? Sending a gift of caviar to
ease their way into a New York City private school.
Ever since "The Nanny Diaries" opened the floodgates,
the Upper East Side tell-all genre has known no bounds. And it has
presumed no limit to readers' interest in how Park Avenue parents
behave. Ms. Lieberman tests that notion with a book full of stock
characters and one that is entirely devoted to school-related wangling,
unmitigated by any broader world view. For instance, a mom named
Helen bristles: "How dare she imply that Zoe's test skills
are substandard?"
Once it would have been risky to suppose that Zoe's test skills
could dominate a novel — or that anyone would be interested
in the malfeasance of a private school headmistress, which is as
close as "Admissions" comes to a plot device. Actually,
there's one more: will the above-mentioned Helen return the interest
of the very rich, handsome and single father of another high school
applicant? This is about as suspenseful as the question of whether
the Romanov family has a way with a bribe.
Chick-lit hasn't always been as specialized as "Admissions."
Anyone could read "Bridget Jones's Diary," for instance;
interest was not confined to overweight young women with dead-end
jobs and dastardly employers. But "Admissions," which
is enough of a roman-à-clef to use names like "The Fancy
Girls' School," "The Very Brainy Girls' School" and
so on, isn't likely to captivate any part of the population that
is not application-obsessed.
Jennifer Weiner's "Little Earthquakes" is also geared
to a precise demographic group: brand-new mothers. "Babies
make strange bedfellows" is its ultimate wisdom.
Ms. Weiner made a splash on the beach-book scene with her first
novel, "Good in Bed." It was candy-colored and charming;
"Little Earthquakes" strives for the same effect. But
this new book is more formulaic, thanks to three characters who
are drawn together by the prospect of new motherhood and fascinated
by every last aspect of childbirth.
Reader interest in anesthesia, diapers and breast-feeding is presumed.
Husband- and mother-in-law-related grievances also shape the story,
as do baby-related emergencies. Jenna Jameson footnote: one of the
book's young mothers brings home a porn DVD from a series in which
Ms. Jameson figures. This is mistaken for a kiddie video by the
character's mother-in-law. Additional Jenna Jameson footnote: Ms.
Jameson says she would like nothing more than to be a mom.
The screen is a lot tamer when Jane Pauley's on it. And Ms. Pauley
has been on television for nearly 30 years. That would seem to be
sufficient justification for "Skywriting: A Life Out of the
Blue," her new memoir. After all, Ms. Pauley has her share
of stories to tell, even if many of them are anything but underexposed.
("My father's entire early life was punctuated with loss and
trauma, as I said in the `Dateline' story that aired in March 1999.")
But the happy-face memoir model that used to work is no longer
applicable. Today, the genre feeds on terrible secrets, and woe
to the star who happens not to have any. So Ms. Pauley, called "Dawn's
Early Sprite" when she first hit "The Today Show"
in 1976, makes the most of her stay in the Payne Whitney Psychiatric
Clinic.
So what if the initial diagnosis was a case of hives? It blossomed
into something bipolar, which she acknowledges, and into other symptoms
that go unmentioned. Ms. Pauley has an odd way of referring to herself
in the third person and a longtime luminary's way of dealing with
a staff. Even in letting this book leap out of the blue (hence the
title), she "imagined the `boys in the back room' toiling while
I slept, because often I knew things in the morning that I hadn't
known the night before."
If there's anything less promising than a nice star's life story,
it's the self-serving autobiography of a politician. Since when
are these things interesting? They're an election season specialty,
and normally they are deadly dull. This makes an anomaly out of
"Dreams From My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance"
by Barack Obama. Mr. Obama, a Democrat now running for the United
States Senate in Illinois, has somehow managed to live an uncommonly
interesting life, and writes about it frankly and well.
Of course, this book has an unfair advantage: it was first published
in 1995, long before the author was well known. The sales were "underwhelming,"
by Mr. Obama's own assessment, and only his entry into the Senate
race prompted a new paperback edition. He acknowledges that this
book should be 50 pages shorter. But it doesn't seem long. And he
hasn't fixed it, "even if certain passages have proven to be
inconvenient politically, the grist for pundit commentary and opposition
research."
His account moves from Kansas to Hawaii to Kenya, with an emphasis
on the father who died when Mr. Obama was very young. If he could
rewrite it now, he says, the mother who raised him (and died after
the book was published) would play a bigger role. But Mr. Obama
would still break the mold of most memoir writers, if only because
"an autobiography promises feats worthy of record, conversations
with famous people, a central role in important events." With
this thought comes a truly unusual acknowledgment: "There is
none of that here." |